Written by Ngozi Aligwekwe
True sisterhood cannot be forced. It has to be developed with interest, patience, reciprocity and over time. They defend us, wipe away our tears, take care of us when we are ill, encourage us in the bad times and support our dreams. And at the very same time, these same women will not hesitate to scold us, push us, even anger us in order to protect us. – Huffington Post
I recently turned 40 and for my birthday I decided that it will be a women’s only affair. Due to the busyness of life, this was also going to be an opportunity for me to catch up and reconnect with good friends. As I made a list of invitees and assigned them their various tables, I didn’t realise that in the process of doing this, I was in a sense connecting the dots of my growth and their impact to my life.
On the day of my 40th birthday celebration, I looked out to the sea of strong, fearless and unapologetically fabulous women and it hit me that each lady sat at the table represented a time or phase in my life and therefore impacted my life in one way or the other.
There was what I fondly call the “Shell Camp Kids” table, these were the ladies whose dads and mine worked for Shell Oil Company and I grew up with during my formative years’ ages 0 – 8yrs up to my teens circa 18yrs.
There was the “UDSS Port-Harcourt” table that sat my secondary school classmates where my key growth and schooling as a teenager took place.
Then there were my “Church” tables which consisted of ladies I grew and connected with both spiritually and socially during my many years at House On The Rock church London, other churches and my current church. There were several other tables in the room, too many to mention but you get the point.
What stood out to me as I looked out to the sea of courageous ladies in the room was that each and every one of them including those who were unable to attend on the day played some role in building who I am today. I am very thankful for my sisters and the impact they have made in my life. This reminds me of the following quotes:
“Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future”
“You’re only as good as the company you keep”
It is your job and duty to guard your environment, therefore, assess the quality of your sisterhood circles. They should nourish and vitalize you. If you want to change your life, sometimes you might have to change your friends. Food for thought!!!
Now, not every woman will be your best friend or friend even, neither should she be invited to be in your inner circle, but every woman regardless is deserving of your respect and support when you are able to provide it.